What do you do when everything in your life shatters, and deep within your soul you’re broken? You may live in a big house, have a lovely family, and seem like you have it all together to everyone else, but deep down you’re barely hanging on. The smile you hide behind may fool everyone else, but you know the truth.
A few years ago my husband and I were tested in ways we could never have imagined. In one year’s time, my husband was laid off, we moved from North Carolina to New Jersey (during the historical two winters filled with snow storms), my brother-in-law was murdered, my stepdaughter was diagnosed with lupus, and I had a cancer scare. Within two weeks of our move during the snow storms, my son and now daughter-in-law moved in with us for help with her pregnancy. With my husband traveling 75% of the time with his new job, I was left alone to take care of the two teenagers and our three younger children. I’d also like to add that I kept getting staph infections, our son had molluscum, and we had another skin rash that kept coming into our home. I also had a falling out with my stepdaughter.
I don’t think I need to go into the details for you to see how life can easily go from stress to complete darkness. I was drowning in it, and that is when I started writing my debut novel Unexpected Metamorphosis. I was filled with so much emotion but was all smiles on the outside. To everyone else, I had the perfect life. My husband found a job near Atlanta, so we moved back to the beloved South. We were blessed financially, and we had three beautiful children. I started hosting parties again, and everything seemed perfect.
But, no, it was not. There were consequences of that stressful year. No cancer, skin problems were less often, and my husband did not travel nearly as much as when we lived in New Jersey. But, I had a falling out with my son and even spoke these words to him, “I love you, but I never want to see you again.” Add that my husband and I both emotionally shut down, and you can imagine how that affected our marriage. We were friends, but it was shallow. Even my relationship with my best friend in North Carolina started to drift.
I was alone, and I was deeply hurt. Nothing could control the pain I tried so desperately to hide and fight on my own, and that is how Alissia Roswell was created. Writing Unexpected Metamorphosis was my therapy. I became consumed with her adventure, and I had to write. I guess it was an emotional release for me.
Now, after all the hard work, I have a novel published and find myself with a new career. I just realized the title Unexpected Metamorphosis fits me, along with the book. None of it was planned. It just seemed to happen.
My life has changed more than I could have imagined. It took darkness to make all of this possible. I would never have started writing had I not been filled with such turmoil. Was it worth it? I don’t know. I have to admit I am happy with the accomplishment and my new life of writing. My husband and I are once again emotionally open, and all is well in my home if I don’t think about our oldest children.
Maybe that hint of darkness is what keeps my mind so full of the fantasy world I have created. I continue to cling to it as I type out Alissia’s next adventure. I sometimes wonder if life was perfect, could I still be a writer? Maybe I’ll get that answer one day. Until then, I write, and I write with passion.
My author information is:
Tianna Holley lives outside of Atlanta with her husband and children and has always been an avid reader of fantasy novels. She began writing poetry and short stories in her youth but did not pursue her passion for writing until later in life.
When she’s not typing on her laptop or running after her children, she can usually be found in her kitchen baking and teaching others how to cook with healthy and natural ingredients.
I can be found at: http://www.tiannaholley.com